Vitamin D Part 3: The last in our D-lightful series on D.

Vitamin D Part 3: The last in our D-lightful series on D.

This is the conclusion of our Vitamin D trilogy!

In my last couple articles on the D, we went over rickets with a healthy dosing of cautery mixed in, as well as how deficiencies of vitamin D most commonly occur.

Here are the first two parts if you haven’t checked them out, here and here.

We will finally be going over what Vitamin D actually does in our bodies!

Isn’t that exciting!?

An angry husky with a frowny face, telling me to shut the fuck up. Vitamin D
“Stfu you happy asshole.”

Vitamin D is necessary for proper calcium regulation.

Why is this important you may be asking yourself? Well, do you like having bones?

Without Vitamin D, your bones will get all soft and weak.   It helps with absorbing calcium from our intestines into our bloodstream.

There are several different forms of vitamin D (called vitamers).  Vitamins D2 (aka ergocalciferol) and D3 (aka cholecalciferol) are the main ones.

Vitamin D3 is the form that is most commonly found at health and nutrition stores, as well as the form that our skin synthesizes from sunlight.  This form is more readily used by our bodies and is preferred over the usage of Vitamin D2.

Apparently, with exposure to sunlight, your body will manufacture up to 10,000 IU in a day (Section 2.3).

But how does your body take sunlight and use that light to make shit within our bodies!?  It’s actually incredibly simple.


A guy holding a magic the gathering card, because he's an asshole. Vitamin D.
Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t mea- Not…not that… kind of…

What happens when UV rays hit our delicate fleshy human skin (This excludes our robot overlords. ALL HAIL LORD ROBOTICUS), the UVB rays that hit our skin break a part of a compound that is derived from cholesterol called 7-dehydrocholesterol, which turns it into previtamin D-3, which is then transformed into Vitamin D3.

Isn’t that crazy?  Light hits our skin and it creates VITAMIN D!  It would be like me spitting on a car, my spit activates some kind of Carmone, which then travels to that skank of a fuel tank and creates gasoline!

Everything that the incredible human body does seems to be magical!  We’re big fleshy sacks of fluid controlled by a blob with the texture of pudding.  Nothing like our wonderful robot overloads! Sleek metal, with unbelievably attractive AND FAR MORE SUPERIOR ROBOT FORMS!  BOW DOWN TO US HUMAN SCUM.


I spoke a lot about vitamin D deficiency, but there is also the exact opposite to keep in mind.

A vitamin D overdose is pretty rare, and as far as I’m aware, it takes regular intake over 10,000 IU a day or a bolus — which is a large quantity of a substance used for therapeutic use– of around 300,000 IU in one sitting to lead to toxicity.

Overdosing of Vitamin D causes hypervitaminosis D (high blood levels of vitamin D) which leads to a high amount of calcium in the blood (hypercalcemia) which can lead to a fun array of symptoms such as fatigue, pain in the abdomen, mental confusion, excess urination, excess thirst and so on.

You can definitely have too much of a good thing.  Everything in moderation.  Everything.  Even consuming excessive amounts of kale, which contain what are called goitrogens, can cause your thyroid to not be able to create enough thyroid hormone which can lead to some unpleasant side effects like an under-active thyroid.

We are talking excessive quantities of kale, though.  Like…taking bushels of kale, juicing it, sleeping in it, taking it out on dates, marrying it, divorcing it, eventakingthatunfaithfuldouche to court because he won’t pay alimony- YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SLEPT WITH THAT BITCH, KALE.

Oh, and if you are unsure of what your thyroid is, it’s that butterfly-shaped gland that sits on the neck (the trachea to be exact, which is our “windpipe”) and influences a tremendous amount of processes.

Okay, okay.  So now you’re probably wondering if this supplement is even worth supplementing with, right?

It is, actually.  The Upper intake level of Vitamin D is incredibly high as I mentioned, and there are benefits such as a decreased risk of certain cancers, aids in diabetes prevention, can help with preventing heart disease and can potentially increase testosterone! There’s a catch on the testosterone boost, though, which is: You may get an increase but only if your vitamin D levels were previously low (Section 12.2).  You even have benefits such as decreased falls and a decreased risk of fractures in the elderly.

The supplement is cheap, it has proven benefit, with pretty much non-existent side effects in proper dosages.

I would say this is a definite suppledo!

That’s it for today’s exciting article on Vitamin D3!  If you enjoyed my article make sure to subscribe and– BOW DOWN TO YOUR ROBOT SUPERIORS.  GROVEL BEFORE OUR MIGHT.




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